Discovering that a partner is struggling with compulsive sexual behaviours can be deeply unsettling. Many partners describe feeling emotionally overwhelmed, uncertain about who they can safely speak to, and worried about the impact on their relationship, family, or sense of stability. These experiences can feel isolating, particularly when the topic is difficult to talk about openly.

Common reactions of partners

Partners often experience intense emotional responses following discovery or disclosure. These reactions are not a sign of weakness. They are natural responses to a loss of trust and emotional safety within an intimate relationship.

Common reactions include:

• Shock and disbelief, especially in the early stages

• Grief, for the relationship as it once felt, or for the future you imagined

• Uncertainty and confusion, including questioning past experiences and future decisions

• Anger and resentment, which may feel unfamiliar or difficult to express

• Low mood or depression, including withdrawal or loss of motivation

• Anxiety and hypervigilance, such as persistent worry or feeling constantly on guard

• Shame or self-blame, despite the behaviour not being your responsibility

These reactions can affect sleep, work, parenting, physical health, and self-confidence. Many partners focus on keeping daily life functioning or supporting their partner’s recovery, while quietly carrying significant emotional distress themselves.