Therapy for
Sex and Porn Addiction
Often misunderstood or stigmatised, sex and porn addiction is a complex and challenging issue that can deeply affect our lives.
When enjoying sex becomes a problem
Firstly, there is nothing inherently wrong about sex. On the contrary, research has shown that healthy sexual lifestyles are linked to better physical and mental health with better adjustment to ageing. The issue does not lie with sex itself, but the fixation and dependency that ultimately affects our work, well-being, and relationships.
Sex and Porn Addiction (referred to as Compulsive Sexual Behaviour Disorder) can be described as an overwhelming fixation on sexual activities or romantic entanglements. These may involve masturbation, pornography, virtual sexual interactions, engaging with sex workers, visiting sexual saunas or massage parlours, seeking sexual encounters with strangers, participating in multiple affairs, or even engaging in sexually offending behaviours.
When we struggle with sex and porn addiction, we may find ourselves investing a lot of time, energy and money into these activities, and are unable to put a stop to the pursuit of sexual experiences despite the consequences.
Addiction and shame
It is an unhelpful misconception that people struggling with addiction do not want to quit. In our experience, it is not often the desire to quit, but the relentless cycle that maintains the struggle.
Trigger - Stress, loneliness, boredom, or an emotional stressor prompts the thought of engaging in sexual behaviours.
Escalation - Seek out increasingly intense or risky sexual experiences to cope with distressing emotions or avoid painful feelings.
Pleasure - Temporary relief or pleasure is derived from the sexual experience, and is associated with comfort or escape from pain and discomfort.
Shame and guilt - Shame, guilt, and self-loathing set in.
Withdrawal - Make an effort to abstain.
Sex and porn addiction is ultimately fuelled by shame and difficulties coping with unpleasant feelings: as we grow increasingly reliant on the activities that contradict our values in life, the feelings of shame intensify, leading to a desire to escape the pain and anguish. The learnt behaviour of avoidance as a coping mechanism in turn perpetuates the cycle of addiction.
The science behind addiction
There has been a growing body of research suggesting that sexual behaviours can develop addictive patterns similar to alcohol and substances. During arousal, our bodies release endorphins that induce feelings of pleasure. For some, the sense of euphoria is something they crave and fixate on. Just like other forms of addiction, the body develops a tolerance to these chemicals, and we consequently find ourselves requiring an escalating amount of sexual activity to achieve the same high.
Sex and porn addiction ultimately serves as a way to cope with difficult or uncomfortable feelings. Overtime, they become associated with comfort and/or numbing, and used to avoid stressful situations or triggers. When it becomes an addiction, we are dependent on it and fear losing control.
There is hope for recovery
At Stillness for the Heart, we provide therapy services aimed at helping individuals to regain a sense of control over their lives. This includes learning techniques to overcome harmful habits, recognising and addressing root causes, and working towards restoring positive connections with themselves, their partners, and friends. Our method includes personalised therapy sessions and group programmes, as well as family/caregiver support. To learn more about the services we offer, please feel free to reach out to us via email or schedule an appointment. You can also take this short questionnaire if you think you may be struggling with some form of sexual compulsion.